40: I’ve Lost the Sun


I’ve Lost the Sun

Once I knew a person like you existed. 

I knew I could never return. 

Things couldn’t rebound. 

My world was morphed, 

molded into something I didn’t recognize. 

Nor did I understand.  

Since, 

I’ve been wallowing in the mire 

of what my imagination created, 

rather than being able to accept reality and press on. 

You didn’t do it purposefully 

but the time we spent together 

sent me into a spiral 

that I have yet to break free of. 

So, 

there are times of hatred 

for what you did, 

for who you are, 

for what I did, 

and for who I am. 

But mostly, I’m just morose. 

Wandering, sad and confused. 

Hurt by what’s been done, 

but more intensely, by what was undun. 

The repercussions come in waves 

and I’m stricken by those currents pulling me in. 

I hate what I crave. 

But mostly, 

I just hate myself for how it happened. 


Discover more from T. Rivers

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading